Are You In Love or On the Rebound?

When a relationship ended your world seems to be crushing down and there is nothing like any other girl/guy who come along to start a new relationship with. But how can you tell that whether you are ready to start a new or just on the rebound? We have seen it all, the syndrome of rebound; the gents pump up with girls or O.C. (ouch!!) and beer while the ladies would go for a haircut, dyed it, hit the gym or getting a French manicure.

Girls on the lookout, guys on the hunting season trying to find someone who is nothing like their ex. And yet, how do you know that you are actually in love instead of being on the rebound? According to one of the articles that I’ve read, the writer said that, “A rebounder tends to compare his/her current GF/BF with their ex. So, if you are still comparing, this means that you are still in a recovery stage. Stay away from relationship until you have sorted out your feelings. Besides that, rebounders (and those being rebounded on) often refuse to admit it, despite the obvious signs: dreaming about their ex, starting every sentence with X and giving their mind, body and soul over to the very next suitor that gives them the eye”.

In fact the biggest problem of a rebound relationship is that actually only one person is ready for a start. In reality, no one in this world would like to get involved in a relationship that has excess baggage. But God knows how wrong am I to say that?

According to the statistic, more than 50% of men & women would start another relationship (normally in plural) as soon as it end. The rebounders might be in for very selfish reasons: to keep them from loneliness and to boost the broken down self esteem issues. All these are possible for men/women that have been wounded before.

But, is it still possible to have rebound syndrome if YOU are the one who ended the relationship?

Basically, in my opinion even though it’s you who made the decision to end a relationship, subconsciously you may be looking for another relationship to feel cared, loved, or even just to put some space between you and your ex. Thus, it’s possible that the person (who decided to end a relationship) tend to get together with someone else too quickly without having second thought. This might create a big trouble. Why is that so?

You will be too focus on your new partner’s good qualities that your ex don’t have, and tend to overlook your new beau’s flaws. By then, it would be too late to do anything besides to continue walking. Don't look back and move on. This is very dangerous for the rebounder because she/he might be injured again.

Well, easier to say than done. Most of the time many tend to seek the easier option, that is to see how it goes or leave it to fate. Indeed this is a very wrong move. Destiny is in our own hands. If you don't make a choice on what to do, how can you have control on your life? But then again, how many can really just move forward and never look back?

So tell me now, would you start a new relationship with someone that still carries excess baggage?

What Women Really Think?

Breaking news, “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”. So, I guess these quote tell us all. Men sometimes can never understand what women are talking or thinking about. They always tend to get the wrong messages.

I have to agree that not only women act differently from the other sex; they tend to speak entirely a different language. Well, even if they speak the same language, the same words might mean entirely other things. I can understand why sometimes the men can be so frustrated. So, I can say that men do have PMS as well. What’s that? Poor men suffering!

Well, to be fair to those blokes, women sometimes should take some of the blame. Correct me if I am wrong but I noticed that women never speaks according to how they really feel. Yes means no and no means yes? I know it’s bizarre and every guy in the world would be dying to know, “what the heck is going on in women’s mind?”

I know how it sounds ridiculous; woman says one thing and meant something completely different. For example, when woman says “nothing” you have to watch out because she might mean “what’s wrong with you, can’t you see that I am fuming?”

So, how can we expect men to understand us when we’re talking in riddles that are so tough to crack?

The Colour of Roses



Roses come in variety of colours; red, pink, yellow and white. Each colour has different meaning and it send loud and important messages.

This is what I found from the internet:

Red - Love, beauty, respect, courage and passion

White - Purity and innocence, silence or secrecy, also reverence and humility

Pink - Appreciation,” Thank you", grace, perfect happiness, and admiration

Dark Pink - Appreciation, gratitude

Light Pink - admiration, sympathy

Yellow - Joy, gladness, friendship, delight, the promise of a new beginning

Orange - Desire, and enthusiasm

Red and White - Given together, these signify unity.

Red Rosebud - A symbol of purity and loveliness

White Rosebud - Symbolic of girlhood

Thorn less Rose - Signifies "Love at first sight".

So, make sure that you pick the right colour or else the girl will receive the wrong message.

Bed of Roses

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
But not as sweet as you.

I remembered clearly
That was what you said to me
When we were together
You said that we are meant to be

My heart is like a garden
That always has room
For flower like luscious roses
And my love for you to bloom

Maybe if we are able to start all over again
I know our love will not be the same
For it is you, my darling I want to be
Forever and ever together we will be

I know you’ve been hurt by roses’ thorn
And suffered a lot in silence mourn
If ever there is another chance
Let’s start all over and let the past be bygone

The Double “L” Word

The weather outside is still the same, cloudy and gloomy. So to speak life is miserable these few days. Cold and lonely like the weather here. But then again, I know the sun will shine once more and my life will no longer be the same.

I was having a drink with one of my friend for heart to heart talk. We ended up discussing on how can a relationship survive till the end of time? Like the marriage vow, till death do us part? Somehow he rings a bell. He said, “In order for a relationship to sustain and overcome the hurdle of difficulties, there are only two words in my dictionary. The double “L” word: love and lust. When you are in an intimate relationship and there is love, this will last forever".

Love and lust? Well, lust I know what is it but love? I guess the most fundamental question to answer here is: what is love? After talking to a few people and doing some research in the net, I finally managed to clear some of my doubts about love.

According to some of my friends, love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (love for friends as well as family members) but it is always about caring. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse is not part of love. Love is not manipulative; it should not be used to get others to do what you want. Although it’s true that a big part of love is putting another person’s happiness ahead of your own, but this does not includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself. It is fairly easy to confuse lust for love. Nonetheless, the true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust and not physical attraction. Sex is not love and love is not sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory. The ironic thing is that it is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Don’t beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation i.e.: "triangle love". But sure to remain single and honest with all the parties involved regarding your feelings and confusion. However, the saddest thing is that romantic love can and often fades. When it goes there, there isn’t always a reason for it. When someone fell out of love with you, it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your level of desirability. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. Be happy and glad that at least both of you crossed path and have loved before. Finally, love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated. And most of all, love is all about sacrifices and not possessiveness. Well, just think about it.

Wounded Heart

The weather outside is cloudy and gloomy. This is exactly how I am feeling now. The music has softened and my heart has started to think of you.

The light has started to dim. So is the music in my room. Even the sweetness in my mouth has faded away. The atmosphere here is so depressing and this is how I am feeling now. My heart has begun to think of you again.

The phone is ringing. You have to pick it up to say something. I thought your heart is still missing me. But, how come your voice changed to be so cold? I guess you really have changed.

The light has dimmed once again and the music is dying slowly. My tears are drying up and there are no more left to cry. I am miserable and sad now. For one last time, my heart is injured again.

Closure

Is there any closure after one relationship ended? If yes, how do you get it? If not, what are you going to do when you bump into your un-closed ex-partner in the streets or at parties? It definitely feels awkward right?

“I had a bad break up with Sam two years ago without any closure and now whenever I see him at clubs I don’t feel good. It’s even hurt to see him with another woman,” said one of my blogger friends.

So tell me now, how do you handle this situation? Do you walk over to say hi or wait for him to do so? Or do you just ignore and pretended that you didn’t see him? Why is it that after a couple broke up they can never be friends?

Ahhh… Closure is the answer. If the relationship ended and closes neatly, I don’t think there will be any issue and they still can be friends. But, not everyone is that lucky. Correct me if I am wrong but I feel “NO CLOSURE YET= STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER”.

What do you say?

Managing Relationship Risks

“All my bags are packed; I’m ready to go…This song has been playing in my mind over and over again since early this morning. He is leaving. From the moment I step out from his car, I know things will never be the same anymore. Neither of us knows what future hold for us. So we are going to let things flow by itself. Good luck & God bless,” said one of my friend who is in a long distant relationship.

We were having this conversation over lunch at one of the café here. She asked me after her partner left, “Which is the saddest – to hate or to have never been loved before?”

This is a tough question. How do I answer? There isn’t any win-win situation here. Some might say, it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Yet others might think that both are interrelated.

Hate wouldn’t have existed without love and vice versa. Why is it so? I don’t know. Probably, it’s because you love someone so much that it turns to hate when that person doesn’t love you back. This is what I call relationship risks.

Do you realize that there are actually risks in a relationship? Have you ever bother to identify one? “No” is the answer I get from most of the people that I’ve talked to.

So, I have come out with a few steps to manage risks in relationship.

1. Identify relationship risks;
2. Develop an effective process to manage it;
3. Be aware of the changes between both of you;
4. Regular evaluation of your relationship (he he he);
5. Develop practical strategies to mitigate exposure and enhance your relationship.

Be prepared before it’s too late.. ha ha ha…

Why Men Won’t Commit?

I know you think that it’s cool and hip to be unattached. Single guys we are asking you. Yeah you know who are we talking about. Tell us, why won’t you commit? Are you afraid that we will invade your privacy, rule your life and force you to quit your weekend hanging out with your buddy? Gosh you are way way wrong this time.

Yes, we might be a bit pushy at times but not all the time. Besides this doesn’t justify the reason you are avoiding the big words. “MARRIAGE” and “COMMITMENT”.
I know it’s sounds scary but then again isn’t that the whole point in a relationship? To settle down with someone and have that particular someone to spend the rest of your life with? So, tell us now guys, why ?

Is it fun or nicer to say that your are single, bragging to your friends about your latest girl who won’t stop messaging or calling you and how you have no idea why she is so in love with you and saying that “I went out with her once, It meant nothing!!” How petatic!!

"Aren’t the guys bored with that sometimes? Seeing different girls every weekend and it’s kinda sick to think of the details," said one of my angry female friend.

I agree with you people that singlehood is great. You can do anything you fancy. No commitment or what so ever and flirt flirt flirt all you want.

“There is no one reason why men won’t commit, my dear friend. As for me, I haven’t meet the right one. Therefore, there’s no reason for me to commit and settle down,” said one of my guy friend over coffee the other day.

Well, probably he got his point.