Does “Live Happily Ever After” Exist?

Here comes the prince charming on his white horse to sweep off your feet. Both of you kissed and live happily ever after. Or does it? That usually happened in the fairy tale but how about in reality?

For instant, you met “the one” and you feel that he/she is the love of your life. At the initial stage, there was lust and then transformed to love and responsibilities. The relationship kicks off quickly and everything was perfect. You dated for a while, got engaged, married and you think you will live happily ever after. Hold on, not so fast.

Things will definitely be good in the first few months. However, if you haven’t notice, dating and marriage often comes with ups and downs. It’s in a package. Why? It’s simple; every individual has their own wants and needs. Both parties need to compromise and scarifies and not everyone can do that. The outcome? Boom! Lots of conflicts and arguments.

At some point of a relationship, you will learn a lot of things about your partner that you didn’t see in the first place. He started to learn about your flaws and so did you. Stress started to lash out due to money issues and things started to break. However, there will still be time to love, intimate moments to reconcile and fun night out together.

Few years down the road, you’ll have kids and life gets tougher. You have lesser time to spend together. Somebody has to look after the kids or if both working, the kids have to go to day care centre. Reality bites, mortgage payments, milk powder & diapers bill, utilities bill and etc. Hello? Where are the free times? You cuddle once in a while and sex? Hmmm… according to some sources, sex once a month for married couple will be considered lucky enough (huh?).

Of course marriage life can’t be that bad. You got to see your baby’s first crawl, first word or even first step. In reality, things get harder and harder. So, do you consider you live happily ever after?

There is no fairy tale in real life. People tend to dream there are. Well, tough shit. No, it doesn’t exist. Life is much more unpredictable and complicated. However, it’s the arguments, the fighting, the reconciliations, the making up, the good and bad times that adds up to your life. It’s your decision to call as to whether you want to stay happy or sad, how to resolve issues and to make things work between you and your partner at the end of the day.

The bad news is that to “live happily ever after” is a myth but, the good news is to live your life with your partner to the fullest, reap the rewards from your union and enjoy the ride (regardless good or bad). This is what I called fairy tale in real life.

Tempted Heart

Have you ever been tempted to go back? Yes, remembered love that's what I called. For all you know, those wonderful memories came rushing back with intimate moments and romantic giggles and chuckles between two of you. Ah… you go back, and it feels magnificent for a short while but hang on… what is going on? Are you having a delusion or is this for real? Is going back a sensible decision to make?

It does always feel good to go back to the known because a huge dive into the unidentified gulf seems scary. Yes, I can’t refute that the grass always looks greener on the other side. However, memories though beautiful and soothing will still remain memories. Eventually, you will wake up and face the reality as you remembered why it was over.

Welcome to the world of alluring ex. Many has been said and done, yet, still some can’t resists the temptation of their ex. Based on some of my readings, you need to be sure of what you want before going back. Revisit the reasons why it didn’t work out in the first place before hopping on the bandwagon again. It might be just a spur of the moment or it might be “back for good” this time. No one can tell you what to do next except for yourself.

If you think of going back is what you want, well, by all means just do it. Not a soul is going to block you or say anything. Alright even if people did comment on something, why bother? It’s your life anyway. You are the one who is going to spend the rest of your lives with that person. Not them! Just remember that you are the one who is going to taste the fruits of your very own actions regardless whether it’s good or bad. On second thought, what if the relationship fails again? Tough luck and live with your gut decision. I know it’s hard. But, no one is going to point their fingers on you. But if it turns out good, well done! So, there is no need to worry too much of what will happen in the future as a result of the choice you make today. All that you need to do is to make the best decision out of all the information available in your hands right now. I am certain things will be fine.

Or perhaps you have better suggestions?

Karma

What goes around comes around. Or does it? Have you ever wonder what karma is all about? Generally, not many people understand what is and how to deal with karma.

Based on some of my readings, karma is principally the same as the verse "As ye sow, so shall ye reap." Karma is also called the law of the circle. It states that whatever deeds we have done past or present, good or bad, it will comes back to us so that our soul can learn the life lessons.

According to the karma teaching, soul is eternal and is reborn after a person dies. This is the law of reincarnation. Therefore, both good and bad karma can be returned to you at your doorsteps even after this life so that you will have never-ending sequence of natural life to work on your karma by balancing your karmic debts, fulfill your heavenly plan and bond to your higher self. All these are not likely to fulfill in one lifetime.

Our fate is determined by our own actions, choices, words, thoughts, feelings and decisions. Our past choices and decisions made set the course for our current situations and the choices that we make today will decide on our future. Therefore, in each life, we should try to do more good deeds and evolve spiritually so that our future life will be better than our current.

In conclusion, it seems that somewhere in the universe there is a system out there to keep track of our good and bad actions in which there will be a reward and punishment system. Ultimately, each individual has the responsibility of their own actions.

Mostly, advocates for principle of karma believe in reincarnation and their goal is to break free the cycle of reincarnation and to achieve nirvana. The principle of karma also place importance on the intent of one’s action. Therefore, if you intentionally hurt someone by words or actions, you will create a bad karma and you would have to bear the consequences. However, if you don’t have the intention but accidentally hurt someone, this won’t create bad karma. The same principal of intention also applies to good karma.

So, do you believe in karma? Or maybe you should think twice and always hold on the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. If that is the case, I believe the world will be a better place.

Twin Flames

Not many people are aware of twin flames. Frankly, I came across these two words from my girlfriend, Lyn. I have promised her to do some research on the internet and write a blog about it.

So, here I am sitting in my room and having a deep thought, “What are twin flames?” Apparently from a simple search in Yahoo! Or Google, you will be able to find a long list of articles and websites solely dedicated to “Twin Flames”.

What are twin flames then? According to some of the sources, twin flames are also known as twin souls or twin rays. Generally speaking, it is the other half of your soul. Twin flames are the soul that you might have experienced with in the past, parallel and future lifetimes.

The sources of twin flames can be found in male and female incarnated with a very strong magnetic pull towards each other. It can be also the aspects of your soul experiencing certain things at present time in another person’s body (huh?). Which means you can feel the other person’s energy within yourself (wow!!).

Frankly, I don’t really understand this topic. It sounds very spiritual to me. But then again, I feel it’s worth researching on since this is a very interesting topic to write about.

In addition to the above, the twin flames in love are the greatest love on earth. They will have escalating infinity with the feelings of oneness and completeness. According to the website, www.crystallink.com, twin flames existed as a soul spark in higher frequency. It is who we are as well.

Based on some of the articles found, when human being was created by God, the soul was split like an atom into 2 identical parts each with an indistinguishable blueprint (Kelly Rosana). As per this concept, the writer believes that some where out there, each of us has our own celestial that carries either the feminine or masculine division.

These parties would have an incredible, all consuming and passionate feeling of love towards each other. For that reason, there is nothing compare to the love of your twin flames. Some of the examples of twin flames in love throughout the history and literature are “Romeo and Juliet” and Moulin Rouge.

So, have you found your twin flames yet?

Forever Young Forever Lungs

How old is considered old? As compared to many years ago, human lives longer in 21st century and we should give thanks to a combination of factors. So, there isn’t any reason for us to freak out as we aged. However, our main concern is not ageing but is how to have healthy lives as we aged.

In order to improve healthy living, I believe it is all depends on the choices and habits that one developed and continue into the future. According to some studies, the environment and lifestyles contributes to more healthy old age than genetics. Therefore, the importance of healthy habits increases literally as we aged.

The main factors contributing to healthy livings are segregated into body, mind and spirit. You maybe asking now, “What does it takes to have a healthy living?” Well, one of the contributions would be physical health.

In order to sustain physical health, one needs to eat right by having healthy and balanced diet, feeling better and good about our own body. First comes first, there is a need to love your body and then, balanced diet is all about having a combination of vegetables, fruits, protein, complex carbohydrates (grains food) and healthy fats (olive oil).

Second and foremost point to take note is to try to lose some extra weights. Shedding kilos by regular exercise will do some great results. Besides staying fit, this includes staving off serious illness like osteoporosis, hypertension, diabetes and heart disease. In addition to that, any middle age weight gain is dangerous because this might lead to stroke and heart attack.

Another advantage in eating right is to have intake of good vitamins and minerals that will boost our immune system thus, our body will function better. Some examples of food that provides such vitamins and minerals are berries, tomatoes and broccoli as they contain phytochemical that improves cognitive function and to prevent diseases. In additions, citrus fruits such as oranges & grape fruits provide vitamin C which helps to handle stress better and effective in fighting colds.

In order to sustain a healthy living, exercises do play a big role. Exercises help to increase our metabolism rate to burn fats as well as extend and improve quality of living. Study has found that one hour of walking a day will extend life expectancy up to 2 years.

Exercise also helps in building muscle through strength training. As we aged, human tends to lose muscle mass. Therefore, through strength training, we can rebuild our muscle mass and few of the advantages would be having stronger muscles and less sleepless nights.

As for healthy mind and spirit, one should keep their mind active by doing things that exercise their brain like playing mahjong. By regular exercise, your brain will function better. Other tips towards having healthy living for spirit and mind would be as follows:

1. Keep in touch with your friends, family and co-workers;
2. Seek inspiration to do something new;
3. Have open mind and laugh often;
4. Adaptable to changes and be flexible;
5. Take time to relax; and
6. Maintain future orientation.

In summary, we need to take good care of our physical well being, challenge your mind from time to time to remain sharp, reaching out to others and always feeling positive about life and aging.

At the end of the day, I believe that everybody does grow old and this is the fact of life. As long as we grow old healthily and gracefully, there shouldn’t be anything to be feared of. Think about it.

How to Burn Calories?

Managing calories intake is very crucial to weight control. However, it is still only a part of the weight loss and maintenance plan. In order to obtain a successful and sustainable weight management plan, there is a need to increase the physical activity while decreasing the calories you take in. This will have double impact and double results. Yoo-hoo!!

In conclusion, it is the combination of regular activity and healthy calories focused eating that will help in achieving a healthy weight. Food provides energy; however, the amount of energy released varies. For your general knowledge, your daily energy requirement is as follows:

Daily energy requirement = current weight in kg x 30 calories = _____calories

The trick to weight control is to consume less than your daily energy requirement and exercise.

Calories are burned during many common activities. The food that you eat is measured in calories and the energy you expend everyday is also measured in calories. Human body use energy all the time even at rest. Therefore the more vigorous and longer you exercise, the more calories you burn.

Heavier person burns more calories than lighter person. Muscle burns more calories than fats. Men have more muscle mass than women. Thus, men are more likely not to gain extra weights.
Therefore, as for women, we need to work our ass off to really make those extra kilos off for good. You would probably know from common sense that metabolism is link to weights. Generally, people would have the perception that slim person’s metabolism high and an overweight person’s metabolism rate is low.

Well, here comes the breaking news. That is not always the case. Metabolism alone doesn’t determine your weights. Like I’ve mentioned earlier, weight is dependent on the balance of calories intake versus calories burn. If you take in more calories than what you need as per the above calculation (approximately) and wallaah! YOU WILL GAIN WEIGHTS.

What is metabolism then? Well, it’s an engine that converts food to energy. The metabolism influences your energy needs but it’s the food intake and physical activity that ultimately determine your weights. So, sisters and brothers, eat wisely, exercise regularly and you will be on your way to a more healthy living.

Happy counting calories!!

Counting Calories: The Basic to Weight Loss

I have come to understanding that of all the dieting strategies out there, it is still boils down to calories. Well, you must be asking, "what the heck is calories?". Generally speaking, calories are fuel to your body. It is like petrol to keep a car moving, i.e.: to keep your body functioning.

Scientifically, calories are the energy in food. Human body has a constant needs for energy and uses calories from food to keep the body functioning and fuel our actions. The main sources for human body are carbohydrates, proteins and fats and these are the main sources of calories. The amount of energy in each varies: proteins and carbohydrates have about 4 calories per gram and fats have a massive of 9 calories per gram. Oh by the way, alcohol is a source of calories too, providing about a whopping of 7 calories per gram. So be cautious ladies, drink sparingly.

So now, how do we loss weights by counting calories? Well, there are few methods to do so. First is by cutting down calories intake. The equation is simple, if you eat more calories than you burn, you will gain weights and vice versa. Based on some of the research done on the internet, a nasty of 3,850 calories equals to about 500g of fats. Thus, you will need to burn 3,850 calories more than you take in to lose 500g of fats.

Mathematically sounds, if you cut 550 calories from your typical diet each day, you will lose approximately 1/2kg a week i.e.: 550 calories x 7 days = 3,850 calories. In fact, cutting down calories doesn’t have to be difficult. It is as simple as ABC like foregoing an extra item a day, swapping food or trimming serving sizes. The calories you saved will likely translate to kg lost.

In summary, these are the general guidelines on how to reduce intake of calories:

1. Cut out high calories foods and drinks.

Think of the things that you eat and drink each day and identify items that you could cut.

2. Choose lower calories foods.

For example, drink fat free milk instead of full cream milk or plain water instead of soft drinks. Besides that, you can try to have an extra serving of vegetable instead of an extra serving of meat at dinner.

3. Reduce your portion sizes.

The sizes of your food portion determine the amount of calories you’re getting. Therefore, twice amount of food translate to twice amount of calories. Try the following tip to reduce how much you eat and therefore how much calories you consume:

· Take smaller portions;
· See what you eat;
· Check food labels; and
· Don’t feel obligated to clean your plate.

Down Memory Lane

Wow.. Food.. I am very hungry.

It is finally time to face the fact. Admit it. We are obsessed with looks and weights. What is going on? Frankly, nobody can blame us actually. Everyday when we flip the magazines, all we see are those pictures and photos of thin and tall women. So we can’t help but to think that being thin is cool and that is all that matters. Besides, there are so many talk, articles and books in town about weight loss and dieting. Can’t really blame us for being over paranoid, right?

I have to admit that I am one of those women obsessed with weights. For the record, I have a very low metabolism rate and I can gain weight quite easily. Therefore, I work really hard to avoid myself from piling on those extra kilos. I have tried all sorts of methods to lose weights: fruits diet, slimming tea, and slimming pills, detoxify pills and etc. Anything that claimed to lose weights, you name it and I would have tried it. I’ve even went to the extent of not eating anything the whole day but just water and with a very small portion of vegetables once a day for three long weeks. Yes, I was crazy and I think I was very ill back then. At first it works well. I instantly shed almost 20 pounds and I was on my lightest weight, 42kg, standing at 152cm. I was left with skin and bones. I felt great and I was so happy except the people around me.

They started to get worried and I was forced to eat. Of course I did as what they asked me to do. I ate but I vomited (without them knowing). I started to develop the symptoms of bulimic. I indulged in binge eating and I would quietly go to the toilet and vomit it out every time without failed. I am sure some of my girlfriends would still remember those times when I was in Perth. Ironically, those kilos that I’ve lost during my anorexic times came back in vengeance when I was in Perth even though I was still bulimic. I eat and I puked and I still gain weights. In three months times my weights sky rocketed to 54kg (OMG!!!) but still standing at 152cm (alright I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t grow any taller!!).

I can’t fit into my jeans, I looked horrible and when I was back to Malaysia, everybody said that I’ve put on weights and even my mum can’t recognize me. I was really depressed and worried. The only comfort that I have that time was my BF. He was there for me and he didn’t even make a single complain on my appearance and my weights when he first saw me (He was in Melbourne and I was in Perth studying). He loved me the same and I am glad that he even stand up for me when some people commented on my weights.

Mr. X: Eh… your girlfriend very fat already lar. Look at her legs and her face… aiyoh….
BF: Ah… yeah… so what? = I . I still love her the same. (Phew….)

Finally, I came to realize that you can’t have something for nothing. Easy come, easy goes. Therefore, I have decided to go back to the basic: Counting calories to counter attack my nasty weight gain.

Searching for Soul Mate

Tick… tock…. Tick… tock… I can hear the clock ticking. It’s 3 am in the morning and yet I can’t sleep. I don’t know why. My mind just refused to shut down. There are so many things in my head right now.

I was having a conversation with one of my girlfriends over msn messenger not too long ago. She asked, “Does soul mate exist?” I was numb once again. “Yes” was the answer that I gave her. Soul mate does exist; it’s just whether we are lucky enough to find one. However, the ultimate question to answer here is that how do you know when you have found yours?

She really strikes me. What’s the meaning of soul mate? According to Longman dictionaries, soul means part of a person that is not the body and is thought not to die. While mate means friend or person one works or lives with. So “soul mate” would mean someone that will always be with you not only physically but mentally or spiritually no matter what happens till the end of time?

Actually soul mate can mean many things. These are soul that you have experience with in the past, present and future lives. Soul mate can have various types of relationships, which do not always include romantic love. Your friend can be your soul mate, your parents, grandparents or even your brothers and sisters.

Soul mate is someone who will be there to support you, lift you up when you are down and catch you when you fall. Stand by you no matter what happens and protect you whenever you needed one. Soul mate is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself. Soul mate will helps you to become the best person you can be and silence is comfortable when you have nothing to say to each other.

However, we need to draw a line between soul mate and partner. This is because for soul mate, you can tell him/her anything but to your partner, there are things that you can’t tell. In addition to that, you can have more than one soul mate but you can’t have more than one partner. Hmm… literally.

We have come to a conclusion that soul mate will be the one who is always there for us and to make us feel complete. Like the saying, “You complete me” by Tom Cruise. On top of that, soul mate often comes together to work on common interests, share the same frequency and to complement each other on reverse roles.

So, don’t waste your time searching because you will know when you have found yours. The little voice in your heart will tell you. Treasure what you have now and go out to have a good night out with your friends. As for yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That’s why it is call “present”.