Down Memory Lane

Wow.. Food.. I am very hungry.

It is finally time to face the fact. Admit it. We are obsessed with looks and weights. What is going on? Frankly, nobody can blame us actually. Everyday when we flip the magazines, all we see are those pictures and photos of thin and tall women. So we can’t help but to think that being thin is cool and that is all that matters. Besides, there are so many talk, articles and books in town about weight loss and dieting. Can’t really blame us for being over paranoid, right?

I have to admit that I am one of those women obsessed with weights. For the record, I have a very low metabolism rate and I can gain weight quite easily. Therefore, I work really hard to avoid myself from piling on those extra kilos. I have tried all sorts of methods to lose weights: fruits diet, slimming tea, and slimming pills, detoxify pills and etc. Anything that claimed to lose weights, you name it and I would have tried it. I’ve even went to the extent of not eating anything the whole day but just water and with a very small portion of vegetables once a day for three long weeks. Yes, I was crazy and I think I was very ill back then. At first it works well. I instantly shed almost 20 pounds and I was on my lightest weight, 42kg, standing at 152cm. I was left with skin and bones. I felt great and I was so happy except the people around me.

They started to get worried and I was forced to eat. Of course I did as what they asked me to do. I ate but I vomited (without them knowing). I started to develop the symptoms of bulimic. I indulged in binge eating and I would quietly go to the toilet and vomit it out every time without failed. I am sure some of my girlfriends would still remember those times when I was in Perth. Ironically, those kilos that I’ve lost during my anorexic times came back in vengeance when I was in Perth even though I was still bulimic. I eat and I puked and I still gain weights. In three months times my weights sky rocketed to 54kg (OMG!!!) but still standing at 152cm (alright I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t grow any taller!!).

I can’t fit into my jeans, I looked horrible and when I was back to Malaysia, everybody said that I’ve put on weights and even my mum can’t recognize me. I was really depressed and worried. The only comfort that I have that time was my BF. He was there for me and he didn’t even make a single complain on my appearance and my weights when he first saw me (He was in Melbourne and I was in Perth studying). He loved me the same and I am glad that he even stand up for me when some people commented on my weights.

Mr. X: Eh… your girlfriend very fat already lar. Look at her legs and her face… aiyoh….
BF: Ah… yeah… so what? = I . I still love her the same. (Phew….)

Finally, I came to realize that you can’t have something for nothing. Easy come, easy goes. Therefore, I have decided to go back to the basic: Counting calories to counter attack my nasty weight gain.