The Double “L” Word

The weather outside is still the same, cloudy and gloomy. So to speak life is miserable these few days. Cold and lonely like the weather here. But then again, I know the sun will shine once more and my life will no longer be the same.

I was having a drink with one of my friend for heart to heart talk. We ended up discussing on how can a relationship survive till the end of time? Like the marriage vow, till death do us part? Somehow he rings a bell. He said, “In order for a relationship to sustain and overcome the hurdle of difficulties, there are only two words in my dictionary. The double “L” word: love and lust. When you are in an intimate relationship and there is love, this will last forever".

Love and lust? Well, lust I know what is it but love? I guess the most fundamental question to answer here is: what is love? After talking to a few people and doing some research in the net, I finally managed to clear some of my doubts about love.

According to some of my friends, love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (love for friends as well as family members) but it is always about caring. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse is not part of love. Love is not manipulative; it should not be used to get others to do what you want. Although it’s true that a big part of love is putting another person’s happiness ahead of your own, but this does not includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself. It is fairly easy to confuse lust for love. Nonetheless, the true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust and not physical attraction. Sex is not love and love is not sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory. The ironic thing is that it is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Don’t beat yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation i.e.: "triangle love". But sure to remain single and honest with all the parties involved regarding your feelings and confusion. However, the saddest thing is that romantic love can and often fades. When it goes there, there isn’t always a reason for it. When someone fell out of love with you, it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your level of desirability. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. Be happy and glad that at least both of you crossed path and have loved before. Finally, love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated. And most of all, love is all about sacrifices and not possessiveness. Well, just think about it.